Each of us co-creates our life experience and sometimes a pattern that exists within ourselves and another is triggered and explodes within each of us. Any pain or hurt that sits within this pattern is expressed at each other through jealousy, anger, spite, blame – a myriad of ways. If neither is willing to take responsibility for what spews from them any peace that visits is usually only momentary. And the peace perhaps only visits because one is fearful of it continuing in the state that it is or because one softens enough for their anger to subside and for them to feel responsible for rescuing the other that sits in a more wounded state. They become a doormat and collapse into surrogating the emotional sufferings or manipulations of the other, with the belief that their self-sacrifice is about their compassion for the other. And this pattern plays out over and over again. Continue reading “Clearing Away Our Patterns”
We all attach ourselves to stories; mostly it is how we connect ourselves and others to the understanding of who we are and why we think and feel the way we do. But it can be the stories that we tell ourselves and others that can lure us into the circle of drama and conflict and it is the stories that can quickly sever us from our heart centre; our connection to ourselves and others. And with this detachment every new statement involved in the stories or conversation we have with ourselves or others whips us up within its powerful forces until we find ourselves spinning with the debris of all the thoughts thought, the words spoken, and even the anticipated ones, that can see us acting out our emotions intensely. Continue reading “Detaching Our Stories From Our Emotions”
Every year at this time I marvel in the way change sweeps across the landscape in such a bold and evident way, as though it commands you to be present to its show. The other day, while sitting in the grass with my beautiful boys, we watched the turning leaves whip around with the wind and I was reminded of my childhood. Ever since I was a little girl I have been fascinated by autumn leaves falling from the trees, with their prepared resignation to fall away from the security of their branch to the whim of the path below, in complete surrender. Continue reading “Resignation to Surrender”
To most of us it feels like second nature or feels safer to hide away our thoughts and opinions, our wants and our needs, our dreams. To bury our pain and dim our light, to hide away our quirks, our illnesses or what we consider as our flaws. We believe that if we are doing more for others that we are deepening our love and connection to them, in the hope that they will love and accept us as their lover, friend, child or parent. Our anxieties build around maintaining the facade of the person that we have offered up as ourselves. Continue reading “Conscious and Authentic Presence.”
When we see another feeling flat, not doing so well in life, not sitting in their usual shiny state – sitting in the darkness of their shadow, we can often feel overcome with a number of feelings. We may want to shrink in ourselves and hide away our own light in fear that it will drag the other further into their darkness. We may feel protective and want to take the pain away, to make it all better especially when it is our child or another that we love. Continue reading “Facing the Shadow Together”
What comes up for you if I was to say that we are all doing the best we can with the resources we have? Does it resonate with you, or do you sit on the fence with your feelings, or does it make you feel instantly prickly with emotions of frustration, perhaps even anger?
Now what comes up for you when I say that we are most compassionate to ourselves and others when we say no, when we are setting our boundaries and asking for what we need? Continue reading “Owning Your Compassion”